today, i feel a bit drunk !! not much, just a little. but before i got drunk, i mean we got drunk, we means me and pm, we went to watch 'the departed'....some of the best movie i ever watched !! nice movie with full of twists and turns !! it was real fun. i was feeling so sick and tired for last few days, so i wanted to get out of box and try something different. And movies is the best time pass for me. so we just planned it out. after that, i went to IGA, not to see ivan...but to get some drink !! so we had a little photo session with ivan. And me and pm decided to get some Jack Denial for tonight. of course, 2 cans were not enogh to get me drunk, but it was good enough to give me a kick. I think alchohol finds its place in heart, not in stomach. Bcaz when u drink it, all your "hidden thoughts" from heart come out and start flying. I love that situation. I love to lose controll ! its great...makes me feel light !! but before i get lost in those moments, we talked to bruce's girlfriend..i forgot her name, but shes very nice girl !!
well,than we started drinking at tram stop. alchohol was getting into my heart, and pulling out all those "hidden thoughts" out. sometimes its better to throw all those rubbish out of mind. Its like Clean up yr Hard disk drive !! you feel light and more active. but now, may be i will watch "beautiful mind" or go to bed !

it was a bad bad bad, very very very very...............once again...very bad day !! I was so sick, had cold and my nose was blocked ! and i was really feeling so tired and alone. sometimes i feel like i cant bare this loneliness. sometimes i just cant bare this pain. but it goes on !! may be, in india i will miss this loneliness. I was so down this night, but somehow when i was coming back from city, suddenly i started feeling gr8. like king of the world and animal of the jungle !! and i decided not to think much.....

well, nothing to write much. i went to flight centre to check the tickets for sydney and gold cost. but i m talkin to biren now, and i think it will be better if they book tickets from there !! it will be easy to manage!!

just came out from the movie theatre...my next room ! we were watching The Hills have eyes !! it was really F***ing creepy thriller with lots of blood and flesh around. It was one of the creepest movies i have seen!! but i love it and enjoy these movies. Sometimes it makes me laugh. hah !!


well, if i will write anythinng about today, it will make this reader very bored bcaz it was just like ystrday !! nothing new. I just got some dvds, thats all, which i m going to watch during the week. My parents have confirmed the dates and i m going to book my tickets 2moro morning ! its gonna be a cooool fun trip. but for that, i gotta collect some money !! so i m busy with job. And even when all other r doing job, what will i do at home? staring at celling? watching tv? internet? oh come on man, i m seek of these things. The new thing i started is mornig walk....ya ya ya, other people say its Afternooon walk, as i go for it at 12.20 pm, but 'jaagya trarthi savaar'...so for me, its early morning and time to have a walk !!

it was another day i kept waiting for jenny, but today, she didnt turn up ! so my inner mischievious geek wake up and i send her an sms that " i m standing at yr door, please open yr door" ...and she replied " what? what r u doing there? i m not home !! why r u there??"" and i was like......'oooops, i was just kidding !!' hah !! it was funny! and agian, poor me, that i had to countie with iVan, the new co-worker !! theres somehting special abot him. I dont feel so comfortable with him !! i dont why ! he is a nice guy, but i dont like nice guys !! hah !! may be thats why i like to work with Ivan. well, Ivan and iVan are different persons. Ivan is old friend, iVan is new nice guy ! and came back to jenny, she didnt came to just show up today. may be she's afraid of me !! but thats ok, everything will be fine soon !!

i was in a dilhema till this morning, and i went to morning walk with that. But that morning walk is really refreshing. I must tell u, that really makes me feel good for the rest of my day ! And i went to IGA, where i met Jessy and PM. I had some serious talk with jessy. and i told her that may be that girl next door afraids of me !! and she said, " yaa, i think so, shes afraid that u will leave melbourne one day". and thats 100% true. Melbourne is my destionation if the journey of life. So, i have to go back to india. So, i better let god decide what he can do for me, rather i pesruse him to do soemthing that i want !!

I was feeling so great this morning. This morninng, in the shower, with all dust on body, i washed away all those painful memories i had last night. I was feeling so freash !! than i went to IGA for another shift. But at IGA, this shift was really long...my eyes were waiting for jenny...and i cudnt resist and send her a text. For a while, i kept lookin at mobile screen. but there was no reply. It was busy time in store, so i put that device in my pocket and start serving customers. but my mind was waiting for that mobile to Buzz !! but even after 4 hours, she didnt reply. and than i tried to make up my mind with different reason. But somewhere around 10, she was right in front of me with her cute smile. she was standing right in front of me. just smiling. and than we both went outside. i think she is feeling so alone in melbourne, jsut like me. she said, " u know, melbourne is so boring place" and i just said yes. Even she's facing the same kinda situation ! this city is full of facilities, entertainment complexes, pubs, dance bars, stripties clubs...every kinda entertainment ! but still i noticed that people are so alone. and that was not only mine thinking, jenny was thinking the same way !! she was missing her friends and family. but i dont know whats her future planning ! I have make up my mind and going back to India soon. But i dont know, where this gonna end !?

Its cold outside,Every time doors open, it brings a breeze.......naah, its not breeze, it brings a Cold Strom inside the store. And its nothing different in store too. Its full of open freezes, omitting cold every day and night !! Sometimes i just forget thats its summer and try to hide under heavy jacket !! sometimes rain makes the situation worse. The road misses those traffic, a companion for the whole day, but in the night time....just dont want to be with the road. The rain wets the road, like road is crying, it feels so alone, needs a companion !!

when i take a look inside me, nothing is different there too !! I have been runnig on the streets of Melbourne, alone ! But in this race, i never find what i was looking for. And sometimes i just ask my self "what your looking for?", and i swear god, its difficult to find the answer ! But now, i m feeling so tired, wanna end up here, so alone !! Need a hand on my head. Need a warm hug. Its very cold and isolated in here......its all dead. I feel like a child left behind, a pet left in the rain. Its difficult to escape this lonelyness.

While i was thinking about this, a charming sound hits my ear...."hi". I was waiting for her for a long time. and she is there, right in front of me, across the table. She is very cute, with a lovely smile. And I feel my self as devil or demon. My like that girl, but my love is too small infront of my lust !! I can hardly feel comfortable with her. I know its my fault, but I didnt started that. She had some dvds in her hand. and i get lost in a flashback, go back to last night, when we were planning to go for a movie. And the next moment, i come back to IGA !! My mind start creating lots of pictures and images, i dont know about what !! I asked her to help me to pick me some movies from next door. But she said that she was getting late, and within 2-3 minutes, she says goodbye !! And again, my busy mind start working on making some illusions. And i start waiting for my mobile to buzz, holding in my hand, i was waiting for a message from her. But its 12 midnight now, and i m closing the shop, and my mobile is just dead like me.

while coming back home, i was looking at those streets, full of lights, tall buldings with sparkling lights, people hanging aroud with their friends, some couples with their companion, kissing and hugging, almost drunk, pretending and behaving like they are adam and eve in this world of 2006 !! And I was counting down the minutes at tram stop, waiting for that 48 no tram to pick me up. and here it comes, i m in there, next to window, leaning to the glass, watching all these superficial romance that will end tomorrow, or may be next week !! but i found myself alone in there, again, alone again !! I switched off iPod to feel the ocmplete loneliness !! oh !! sometimes i like that !! sadness is beautiful, but lonelyness is tragical. and a thoght goes trough my mind....its the matter of few months dear, than u will be bakc home, with friends and family !!you got a ticket to a world where you belong, this trip to melbourne will finish soon !! and u will escape this loneliness....and second moment a Q arises " is it the end, or it will a begining of a new journey?"

it was wondeful day. i was in full form and was ready for anything !! i went for a wake this morning at 11 am. I think its a bit late for a morning walk, but i cant help it. I like to sleep. And than a italian slod me some leather jakcets. Nice jackets. its a long story, i dont wanna write it here. And i bought one for a gift !

and then, as usual, facing those idiots at IGA !! what can i do !! i dont wanna get bored at home alone. so its better to spend a lot of time at IGA. at least i meet so many people, have fun with all coworkers and jenny too ! she had her exam today, and it was ok, not so bad !! but she was confused abt the results. not sure !! well, i tried to calm her down. And may be we will go for a movie this weekend !

one remarkable inccident happeed ystrday, when i was traveeling in bus no 200. A lady was behaving in such a wiered manner !! she was manica or lunatic, i dont know !! she was like barking like a dog, so loudly and in such a unexpected way !! everyone was so shocked and scared ! she was so wiered !! i dont know it was funny or scary !!? i think it was strange ! what kinda people live here !!

i went to change my ticket to india, but i had bad news that i cant do anything with that ticket. So i will have to fly on the same date. any wyas, it doesnt make much different.

the day started with a wonderful start, as i had some chat with megha and gopi. Its always fun to chat with these girls. I never get bored !! yaa, sometimes with Gopi, as she usually appear online to meet someone else. but Megha is always there ! ! So me and megha were talking abt some kinda confusion that i had abt a girl ( i m not gonna disclose here) ! and i think we decided to let the god decide !! we talked abt so many other things like Indian life, abt people who love it and who hate it too !! With megha, its always like a buddy with me. I tell u what, life is suckign and boring here. I wake up, do the morning chores, go to job, come back around 12 midnight, have dinner, check mails, and go to bed. menawhile, i listen to iPod in the bus. Its like only I exist on the whole world. And sometimes i feel like talking to someone. but i dont find anybody aroud. if u call a friend, he replys " i m on job, i will call u back". And sometimes i reply the same thing when my friends call me !! oh man !! this is shit life ! but somehow, after midnight, i feel very good when i chat with megha. I rememebr those winter nights, when me and megha had a big 'april fool' plan for my bithday. we used to chat for whole night. and at that time temp was as low as 0 degree, sometimes -2, -3 !! it was great. and we never run out of topics ! may be after my mom, darshana, biren and parin...she is the girl who knows me very well !!

I m missing khushi online these days. god knows wheres she !! may be busy with mansi. they are very close friends! so i think khushi, somehow really miss mansi a lot.

than i went to IGA....my fav place in melbourne !! And if i m working with Ivan, nothing can be better than that !! Jessy was there when i started !! Jessy is a cooooool girl. she has all those humor, sense of responsibility, self esteem, courage and so many other adjectives to add on. and Ivan, her husband...........i dont know why God made that mistke !! ha ha ha !! kiddin, kidding !! Hes a cooool guy and we have fun all the time. He makes me laugh and I make him laugh, and who laughs at the end???.........................customers !! remember the case of " hyrarchy" or "harryjacky" !! man, that David is such a ........chinese boy !! they dont know how to speak english..they speach "CHINGLISH" !!

and than, Jenny came down to have a cup of coffee ! she has exams 2moro, so shes busy with study. I wish her best luck and may she score her best !!

from IGA to home, in the bus, i like to listen to that OSHO !! he is great , simply great !! unbeliveble. I cant explain his whole theory here, but it can change your life !!

it was just another day in raw. the only difference was that i wake up at 8 am. Than i had to see the faces of John and robert, as it was a creepy day. the good thing was that Jessy was also there to give me company to face those baagaas. well, it was a bit tiring day as after a long time i had to do some labour job. Otherwise in the evening shifts we just have feast at IGA. But it was a damn terrible hot hot day. And guess what !! i put on my jacket this morning. so in the afternoon, while going back home, i was so hot that i almost got fever !! my head is still spinning now. Moreover, i watched a movie..."MEMENTO"....its a damn cool movie, but somehow, i was not in a good condition to enjoy it ! The story is out of this world, and the director must had made shit out of mind while editing the movie.!!

PM was working this evening with Ivan and he's gonna open tomorrow morning. I think he's gonna make shit out of his morning shifts. John asked me to that, but i cudnt help that. I m not the solution to this problem, so please forgive me !!

well, jenny has exam day aftr 2moro. so I think that cute lady must be fighting with those black latters in fat books. She's like preparing for a bettle. Exams, in itself, is a tourture, and must be removed from this system. Because I believe that students these days, tend to study to pass the exams and not to learn something. and when motive of study is changes and more emphsis is given on exams, i dont think it will be able to hold its value for a long time. The aim and sole purpose of study must be "learning" somehting, and not to let teachers judge how good you are !! Anyways, there will be a begining, and i m waiting for this system to be changed.

I like to listen to Osho. and i m listening to him all the time these days. well, sometimes he helps me to define the theories of my dreams and thoughts. he helps me to put my wired thoughts in a structure, so i can better understand them, and my self too !!

HAPPY NEW YEAR !! this is the first day of new year, not like India, i wake up at 1 pm. After a long time i had such a sweet night, and morning too. Actually i spent last night with Bruce Willis and Samual Jackson in Unbreakable. Cooool movie !! so i had someproblem waking up early in the afternoon. BUt somehow i managed to open eyes at 1 pm, and i called India. Its all celebration atmosphere in India. of Ocurse its a new year for hindus. for me, i think i celebrate every day, so its nothing new for me. but its new year and diwali really creats some magin in air. I talked to all people around. It was really fun to talk to them all on such a special occasion.

Than as usual, i had job at 4, so without having bath, i rushed to bus stop. and at IGA, John and Robert were waiting for me!! Ivan was taking Landmark Classed today....he's such a maniac, but after doing that Landmark course, he will be given a certificate, a proof that he is a maniac. !! It was really boring to work with that new iVan, Ivan's friends iVan. BUt some how i cud manage that. and than i spent some time with jenny too, as she came down, jsut to pass some time. She was desperate and nervous bcaz she will soon face her exams on Thurseday. so she was seeking some advise. and i delivered some to her !! NOthing much was happening at IGA tonight. Well, those fashion and star magazines were busy with paparazi and soililing others life. But sometimes its fun to have a look at them. All Paris Hilton, Briteny, Micheal jackson, Lindsla Lohan and all other Future Porn Stars show off on glossy paper of those magazines.

one more thing abt iVAn, not Ivan..... are yaar, he is a gay. I dont mind it. but i didnt knew that he was a gay, and his some wired behaviour making me feel uncomfortable with him. When i asked him whats yr partner's doing? is SHE studying or working?? and he replied " HE is doing cookery". oh man, that was really shocking. And than i asked Ivan abt this, and he said " oh man, i forgot to tell u that he is a gay". It was so wiered that i can not describe !

well, its too late, and i have to wake up a bit earluy 2moro, so i gotta go to sleep now !!

HAPPY DIWAALI !! its diwali today. and I m far away from my home ! Missing all those indian atmosphere around !! those friends and family...nothing can make u feel like that. i believe that you doint know what you have got untill u say goodbye. but its not a long time fly back to india, so i wud like to enojy every minute in australia. well, i wake up this morning and went to jon, nothing much to do. before leaving for job, i had some hcat with khushi and megha. its all good to chat with them. I was so upset last night and this morning, but those some moments with megha and khushi lighen the mood and atmosphere. after that, i went out with my buddy, my iPod. Malhar called me this morning and wish me happy diwali. Job was really boring. i was with New Ivan, that Ivan's friend, Ivan, so we all call him iVan, like iPod. it makes it easy. David was there too. but its really boring to spend time with them at IGA. SO i went out at 10.30 with some material for party tonight. we are waiting for Montu to come home so we will have some good time !! so we will meet again....bye bye...

well well well, its just another day. but this one started a bit earlier. A bit??? no no no....actually i wake up at 5 am, and i hate it, to open the shop. this morning shift is killing me. Thank god i dont have to do that anymore. there was nothing to do much in the morning, but coming out of bed in 12 degree temp. is just not good thing to do. BUt cant help it. I discovered that PM has too many fans taht he can start a fan club of his own. every cusotmer was asking for that boy. everybody lvoes him, except that bread deliverer who really hates him. so, i finished the job at 10 and got some $$$ pay and deposited it ! than its time to go for shopping on Smith St. where u can find all brands Nike, adidas, Converse, Rbk and many others. but i went to adidas and bought a pair of shoes and a track from Nike.

now its time to go home, and talk to yr hand for the rest of yr day. its all bullshit. i was so alone there, all i day was online and keep scraping to all on orkut. so i had some Beans, as usual, and went to bed at 4. Jiju had some plan to go out for dinner. so we went to a Gaylord indian restaurant. It was nice, specially the lady who was serving us. hah !! than it comes to worst part....after finishing my dinner, i went to IGA, i dont know why......i swear i really dont know why the hell i went there. I wanted to have some beer, so i though its better to hang around rather than going back home. But.......its all messed up !! forget, i m not gonna explain it here.

ok than, its all Diwali time now, so wish u all Happy Diwali and Happy New Year !!

it was just another normal day. mansi left melbourne (small hell on earth) this morning !! lucky she...will enjoy diwali and new year !! its DhanTeras today, and i m missing those nights full of lights in india. its a magic and nothing else that Diwali creats. Yaa, people love to celebrate 31st dec more than diwali...still Diwali has its own beauty !!

the new thing was that i went IGA, not for job, but to get some money....as i m facing terrible money crisis these days. So i went there to see John and Robert...and i was lucky that i met Jessy and tanya too. I dont like tanya...i dont know why, she is a nice women, but i dont feel comfortable with her. But jessy, mrs Tinoko, is a lovely lady. She thinks that I m serious abt that chinese girl.......... Well, M I serious ? ? .......... I dont know.
and after that, i went to watch CRANK, starring 'shit' Jesson. Nice actor he is ! i love the way he says 'shit' !! I was with PM !! it was all fun to hang around and watch movie. than again 200 no bus to go back home and ......what say !!

2moro, i m going to open IGA, so i gotta go to bed soon, so i can re memorise those 'winter magic mornings' again !!

i spent the whole day with mansi for shopping !! eventually.........or unfortunetly......we both ran out of money !! that was cooooool scene. we were on shopping trip with only $14 in account. and she was planning to spend some $300. It was all for her family ! I bought some chocolates for my sis, and some cds for khushi and megha !! and tell u what, i really cudnt find anything for gopi. I mean....i searched a lot, for whole day, but i cudnt find anything, so special for her !! but i m sorry for that, and i think 2moro i will find something for her for sure.

there was a game being played by all people around me, called SURPRISE !! i dont know who will win and who will lose. hah !! its a surprise !!

nothing much to write for today, just missing some people. . . . but who cares...life goes on !!

today, i reveiled some secret questions to her !! i know it was hard for her to understand her, but she is smart enogh to get the point, and she did too !! before this, this questions were somewhere down under my hearts, and no one knew that !! but as she is the most trust worthy friend, i just wanted to share this with her. Actually she is like my blog !! there is hardly any secreat that she doesn't know !! sounds like we r good lovers.......and we r indeed, but not like those typical love birds. She is one of the most beautiful companion i have in this journey of life. otherwise, so many friends came and gone, like leaves leave the tree in autum !! But she is like one of those branch of this tree.

last night, i was at IGA, not waiting for the other girl and was busy with IGA customers and Bonnie and another chinese girl ! IGA is a coooool place to work at (bcaz of all those freezers). But i found some new friends there, and Ivan is not one of them !! i dont have words to desribe that F***ing idiot, he is so hillarious, funny and artistic! He is a guy from colombia who looks like a muslim. I learned a lot from this guy. Well, i belive we always learn something fror each person we meet in life. some teache us what to do, and other teache what not to do. I dont know where to put Ivan !! he is such a buddy ! ( and Jessy too) !! Jessy, plz help me out ( u know for what, Ivan) !!