i just realised how u feel when u crash on earth when u r flying on a dream ride. its heart breaking. you cant explian the pain in words. you can't cry, tears doesnt come out easily. u can't show yr pain, but cant hide in yr eyes. when a close friend hurts you so badly, u can't ignore it, u have to accept the pain. may be tomorrow i will be feeling better, but i will never ever forget these moments. this is the worst feeling i had in life. worst. i had no more bitter expereince than this. i was looking for a surprise from this routine life, but what i get is a SHOCK !!

its saturday night, and we just came back from Melbourne central. this time it was not so grooving as it was last night. and there were so many changes in the plans. i had some headach that spoiled all mood. talked to megha again tonight, that made me feel so good again. well, nothing else to write abt. life was as usual, except bruce asked me abt my chinese girlfriend. and i was confuced who is she?? according to him, jenny was my girlfriend, but its not like that. she is my good friend, i dont care who thinks what. hah !! well, shit things happen in life, u just need to let it go....let it go !

congratulations and celebrations......yeppy, we got a new home, close to tooranga station, very close to city. hah ! its a realife, great reliefe. now, no more watiing for those buses and trams. its all sucking. but this bring so many other problems as well. there are so many things we bought in common, but now its time to devide all those. god knows what will happen. but i dont care abt it, its time to celebrate at new home. we gonna sign bond tomorrom and will move soon !!

last night i had a great talk with megha, yaa, some talk and lots of chat. its always good to talk to her. i fall in love again with her. hah !! once again !! she is just like chocolate, irresistible for me, but not good for my health. its a painful temptation, and i gotta hold my self on that. today, she wrote me a poetry, a piece of poetry that somehow talk abt me, and may be more abt her...




“Something Beautiful"
You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyze everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind every night
you admit defeatand
cry yourself blind
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful,
you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified,
when they lived alone



how can someone think something like this.?? i will never figure it out. but i like the line where she talks abt 'analysing people i meet everyday'. this is the most common problem with everyone. its made my life worse, but now, i m overcoming with that problem slowly. i want to talk a lot with megha, but i cant. its never difficult to open those secrets with her, never hard to cry out my heart. why shudnt i propose her?? well, i, and we both, believe that some relationships are so beautiful just bcaz they dont have given any name. so let this relationship as virgin as it is. we both dont want to temper with it. ravi, wait for a while, have some pateint, amd you will find someone like megha with 'patel' surname. well, thats very important, u cant just help with it...hah !!

life sucks when you have to find a new house, in an alien country, with double figure in account, with no reference, with lable of Overseas student from Asia, without a car, using public transportation, in 35 degree, with smokey atmosphere caused by bush fire, and with somany so many other problems......

but its PM who helped a lot today. but still, hot and dry day makes me sick and tired. but somehow, i finished my job with wan and bonnie. Bruce also joined later, but i dont like that guy so i wont talk abt him. PM hates him. hah !! ewll, cherry showed up today. i asked her 'wheres jenny'? and she replied, " i havents seen her for a long time, what have u done to my friend??" and i was like........"me?? what cud i do??" " but i will tell u if i will do something, hah". and she said "she feels so alone and sad, and its a secret." so i sent jenny a msgs, but she didnt replied. may be she wants be in that situation. who can make her feel good if she doenst want to be. forget it than. i sent megha an sms to appear online. lets see what happens. till than, let me talk to miss bio info, miss Shreya.....

Lord of the ring. it took whole 11 hrs to watch all 3 parts of this epic movie. started at 12 at noon, finished now, at 11.03. the whole fucking day all we did is just watching movie, movie 2 and movie 3....hah !!

last night was a very different, out of this routine life and extra ordinary. if someone has not pick up my phone, has missed a lot of fun. the day started with a routine activvities. but as days passed, i cud feel the groove in the air. mansi was on her job and everybody else was out. but in my back head, i had alreally planned for a saturday night with mansi and PM. so i went to IGA to pick up mansi. and there, i came to know that all other people in the house wanted to join party. so they came to flinders, along with PM and we were just abt to start a wondeful, dancing, grooving, full of fun saturday night. we went to melbourne central lions group pub. its a great place to be. entry was free, so we all just rushed in. music beats were making us dance, but we were happy with tapping feets. nobody wanted to drink, so me and PM had a JUG of STELLA, i love that. its more than 1 ltr in that beer jug. so me and pm started. i think one is not enough for us. so i rushed to the counter, and grabbed another jug. 2 jugs, only for me and PM.. hah !! that was cooooool. i was thrusty for a long time. PM was already at his best with 2-3 glass. but i was on my way to heaven....a long way to go. So, i just slow down and started dancing with Saurin, mansi and PM. its coooool. this was the best scene of the night. there were some 8-10 chinese guys and girls. but when we gujjus started 'garba' on english beats, those chinese guys also jumped in. and i realised that melbourne is really a multi cultural country. it was like........english beats, chinese and gujju guys and we were playing garba. hahh !! it was 'jordaar' scene. this was not enogh, so me and mansi had 'shambhuka shot' hah !! i love it. its cooooool !! and we were at out best. we were the centre of the party. saurin was gr8 on dance floor. and PM/.....he started that unique dance and later on, those chinese guys agian jumped in. it was really fun....i called megha twice, but may be she was not in mood to pick up the damn phone. anyways, we were enjoying alot.
saturday night doent end when we came back home. at bus stop, me, saurin, mansi and tulsi were doing garbas, and those aussies asses were screaming and chearing with us. hah. that was coooool. at home, we had to face another scene, and this one was funnier that the last one. at home, montu and me brought Chivas Regal, not for me and him only, but everyone at home joined party. there was a glass for everyone. everyone, except saurin were "DRUNK". and i mean that. "drunk" means "drunk". hah, and that was really great. so many things happened after that. mansi was like...normal. tulsi was laughing. guddi was crying, juji was angree, montu was quiet, saurin was spectater, and i was ....i dont know where i was. but i kept drinking. and first time in life i felt losing conciousness. i was not ravi, i was someone else, in another world, world not created by damn god. hah !! ha ha ha ! thats wonderful. and this morning..... i hit hard on the earth, created by god. my head is spinning, its not aching, its spinning...than why the hell i m writing a lot............

it was jsut another normal day, started with "khalnayak". its a nice movie. and than me and mansi went to job. just another normal job day. but she didnt turned up today. i sent her a msg, but i think jenny was too busy to come down. anyways, i m not diappointed, as me and mansi were having good time with ivan. i was a bit drunk last night and had a talk with megha last night. its alwys gr8 to have her to talk with. i love it. i love her too. hah ! but you know what i think..........it doesnt matter what i think !!

i m a bit drunk right now. and why shudnt i? it was a free drink at Melbounre Central Pub. its a nice place, i love to be there. next saturday i will be there. i like dark room and heavy noisey metal rock. it makes me feel good. its not a party or dance time, but its only good time with friends. i hate dance parties, or i dont like them much. but i like some good loud music with some drinks and friends. it was a wonderful day. from morning, we applied for some 3-4 houses at camberwell. nice place to live. and after that, me and PM went to melbourne centrar to watch Casino Royale. its a shit movie. looks like a yash raj's love story. fucking story was it. i hated it. but anyways, we had a great drink after that. 2 btls of Stella is good enough. and than, we came down to home. and i m having great time with megha, so i dont wanna waste these moments by blogging here. good night !!

life is strange. and you believe in it when you go out for a long drive from Kew to St Kilda nad Fottscray and roaming around melbourne from 12.30 to 3 am, on dark roads, with PM and mansi, just bcaz you can not sleep. hah, after finishing all things, i went to bed and almost sleeping when mansi came out and said she can not sleep. eventually PM was there, so we 3 guys decided to go for a long drive. so PM drived us trough melbourne CBD, st Kilda, kew, glendferry, camberwell and almost all good places in melbourne. it was great. mansi was very happy and light after that ride. she was feeling very heavy, so she needed to throw out all those rubbish in her small mind, hah. and PM and me helped her to cheer up. and actually we 3 helped eachother to cheer up eachother. and i was a great ride, a long drive, i will remember this one for the rest of my life....

and this morning, we all again started our quest for new house. its great. its a wonderful experience. we really had great day today. we checked out some 3-4 houses, which is really good record. and all those houses were excellent.

at job, i had another remarkable moment of my life as Jenny came down to buy wine with Cherry. after few hrs, she came back to buy Corona. i asked her to join tha party and we strated to drink right outside IGA. it was great. i was on job, and we were drinkning outside. we were talking about abt people arounf us and ourselves. we were talking abt all those good and bad things happned to our lives, we were laughing, and somehow, we were sharing something special to each other. it was cooool. i dont know, but i told her that i m gonna remember these moments for the rest of my life. these are one of the rarest collection of memories of this life.

there is another world inside me, that you may never see.....
there are so many secrets in this eye that i can't hide.....
somewhere in this darkness, there's a light that i can not find....
may be it too far away, or may be i am just blind.....

today was one of the most important day of my life. it was my Graduation day. i m officially graduate today.it was great. all graduates were there with black gown and funny hat. i dont what they call it in latin, but i find it very heavy and funny. it makes me feel sleep, and actually i fell in sleep once. but that lecture was really boring yaar. how can you stop someone from speaking rubbish from that loud speakers. but anyways, it was a memorable day. but on this special occasion, i found myself alone in this alien country. so i forced mansi to come with me. as she is the only best and special friend i have here. yaa, there are so many friends arond, but i had only 2 passes. me and mansi were planning to watch movies, but we are busy with looking around propeties, and handling and baring a serious problem abt some silly people. god knows how he created such minds.
today was the day for boys to prepare dinner, so i decided to make some mix vege and roties. and i must thank all other boys who really prepared that dinner. hah ! i was busy with jenny, as she said she will miss me when i will leave for india. ha ha ha !! is it funny or strange. and than i talked to my parents on phone, and my dad told me that that chinese girl will not be able to cope up in india, so dont think atb her. And i replied " oh . i m not serioud abt her, i m not even thinking abt that topic , i was just kidding. " but i must say my parents are very helpful to me. i m lucky to have such a great family.

searching for a new house is one of the best experience i m having in life. its great. from the morning, me , mansi, montu and tulsi went out to look for another house. it was really hot yrstday, but quite nice windy and cool weather today. it really halped. searching for home online, looking for agents door to door, bagging for keys, and get diappoint for those properties for which we were let. its all fucking awesome. hah !! but its coooool. well, its my graduation ceremony 2moro morning, so i wanna have a nice sleep tonight. and i just tried that black gown and hat. its looks awkward, but it will loook great 2moro. nothing much to write today, it was almost usual day. but i was feeling some good today. feeling good, light and happy !!

its was an abnormal day in this routine life. we all patels, except saurin, who is a legend in himself, and jay, dignesh and bhoomi went to Frankston beach. we had really great day. it was damn hot and we enjoyed that sea bath for 2 hrs. great fun. but last night i was really angree with all people in house. everyone was watching movie with so loud volume, and mansi was sleeping in her room and didnt allow me to sleeep there. so i had to bare montu till early morning. the tourture didnt finish there, so i went out and slept in main room. and i was stucked in that little coach. fuck it. who cares. today was great, so i want forget abt ystrday. and that movie 'aatma' was really funny. well, officially it was horror, but its funny. and me and mansi made it hillarious. oh man, aftr a long time we had such good time. it was great day..

and i got another mail from megha, that make me feel high. i dont know why, but it makes me feel so special that i wanna write a special blog for her. but its 1.15 am, and i m really tired. so megha, you know hwat i want to write. and even if you dont know, who cares. we will talk abt it in private. hah !!

i was fucked up last night. walked all day long, looking for properties, and temp was almost 33-35. and start job at 5 pm. it was worst than that. only me and mansi know how we finished at 11. and worst thing was that i had to start at 8 this morning. and i just cudnt wake up at 7. but wake up at 7.50, got ready in 5 mins and got the bus of 7.59. it was really fast. and it was really busy at IGA. Jessie was there with PM. and it was really great day. we had so many talk today. and she told me that she heard that that chinese girl likes me. even she is not sure, but she think so. i dont know that truth, and that a wonderful state of mind. bcaz half the problem occurs bcaz you know something. when you dont know anything, you are free to do anything. hah !! well, in this case, i m flying back to india in Feb, leaving al things and memories in melbourne. India has its own fantastic life, same here. both life had its own way of enjoying. but i think india is much better, where i can have peace of mind. i dont like very slow life, but i dont want to run after an illusion or mirag. but after finishing at IGA, me and PM went home in his car. its great to have car. its very handy. than we went back to IGA. where i found mansi was crying on phone as she was talking to her mom. and abt whom?? that will make you laugh. sometimes, in life, you face a kinda situation that you dont feel angry, joyful, happy, sad, tired, bored or any other feeling. you just look at that situation and look at you. you just get amazed. its serious, but its funny as well. its one of the most imp decisions in your life, but you can take it in a sec. makes me feel happy for a sec, and amazed on other moment. crazy things happen in life, this is one of them in my life. its abt me and mansi. we are like tracks of train, who are with each other for a long journey, but we never meet each other, and will not be. but nature has its own plans. but i think we wont let that happen, do we?? but i dont think abt the result of this situation, i just enjoy being in this situation, just like all other strange situations. this is one the most funny and owkward situation i had till now. its funny. and one more thing that jessie told me today. its funny too. i proposed so many girls, but no one gave me positive reply. for the first time in life, a nice girl is interested in me, but i cant move a inch forward. its shit, but its funny. shit things happen in life. tomorrow, in future, i m gonna look at these moments and will laugh, just laugh......

this world is a very cruel place. pain of one is joy for other. defeat of one is victory for other. and some people talk abt god. hah !! i am not even sure about his existance. its not that i m against him, but i m not by his side as well. i believe discrimination is the biggest sin human can committ. but how god can do that?? sometimes i wonder watching those children in air condition cars, screaming for Big Mac at McDonalds, toys and ice creams, new clothes, special gifts every christmas. and when i look at those pictures from middle east and africa, i hardly differenciate a skaleton and those black, skinny, hungry, naked, barefoot, uneducated, homeless children. how can god do this to their children? this is not fair. and i cant help it but watch this. of ocurse, i would like to do what ever i can.
watched ivan's video. it was cooool. he is a great man and good phylosopher. i believe a man can be a happy man if he has a nice wife, otherwise he becomes a phylosopher. hah !! just kidding. no offence jessie. just like ivan, even i get upset at beach. i dont know why but it makes me feel so down. its like yellow colour, anti-energy, or say energy sucker. so i prefer not to go there. but how can i forget taht 31st December 2005. it was one of the most beautiful nights in this life. it was the first time i got drunk. getting drunk is a great light feeling. sometimes i jsut get tired of being rational and wise. sometimes i just want to unfold myself, lose control, lost track, fall in love, sleep in arms, talk about stupid things, want to be stupid, fly naked, kiss that girl, scream, sing along with radio, stay awake all night counting stars with her, and so many other things. when i get drunk, i can lose myself. actually i believe that there are 2 person inside me. one is wise and makes rational decision. and another just believe in fun and enjoyment. he doesnt care abt all shit of world, just listen to music, dance, watch movies, spend money, makes wrong decisions and laugh at those bad decisions. but sometimes, i jsut get myself stucked between these 2 guys....

it was a fucking long day. i want to cross the limits and dont want to type any ***** here. it was fucking boring at IGA. just want to call someone and talk a lot, talk abt anything. tired of talking to myself. i want a surprise, or a miracle to escape myself. but there was no body to talk with. everybody is fucking busy with their own problems. when you call someone, reply comes "i m at job", "i m busy, doing assignments" and all other shit. May be someone from india, but all friends are preapring for exams. Megha replied after along time, and handed me a lolipop that she will come back soon !! hah !! mansi is facing some tough time these days. so i m not teasing her too much. otherwise, i wud have ate her mind, but as she is facing some blackouts bcaz of blood or himoglobin problems, i prefered to do this later. Than to whom i can give a ring. i went trough all phone contacts in mobile, but no one was there to call. than suddenly fucking god appear, as he is all time free to talk with me. He is such a fucking idiot. PM came to grab that keys when i told him abt this fucking god. this fucking god left me in a situation where i cant move ahead, nor go backward. its like i m stuck with something in trought that i cant swallow, not trough out. i was really more happy before that fucking night. that night left me its black marks on my mind. i hate this feelings. its like being in a deungone. and i want to get out of it. its all dark in here. its only me to whom i can talk. but i rather scream out for help. and all i hear is nothing but laughing god and that girl. and i fucking think why the fuck i m here. why the fuck god created me? hey god, i think you are fucking tired and bored. dont you have anything interesting to do than fucking up my life? !! btw, i got my black gown that i will wear on graduation ceremony on 12th Dec 2006 !!

f**k the f***ing day of f***ing life. its was really a f***ing day.. i had to wake up at 7 and go to f***ing job. and had lods of work to do. i was almost f***ed up at 4. but got some dvds to relax at night. but the day was f**ing hot today. and it was a tens kinda atmosphere at home, so everybody was f***ing each other, it was like f***ing cold war was going on in home. damn f***ing things f***ed me up again. but it was all calm down later. i dont know what kinda relations people have?? its all f***ing temptations and lust. F***ing people just want to keep f***ing. but PM drived dwon his new second hand toyota home. so we went to a long small drive. it is a sexy car, damn f***ing sexy, as i was f***ing it after driving it. hah !!

me and mansi were at IGA on sunday evening where i <> jenny as she was home. and she was really estonished by hearing my voice on her intercom. hah ! she was confused and a bit frightned !! hah...it was funny, even mansi was there. it was coooool !! i will do that again ! ha ha ha !!

hah, its was the day for saurin. he turned 25 today. but .......but but but.......but mansi was the showgirl for today. i dont know what happened to her, but she was behaving like 'channel 9', and than we tried to turn the channel to 'star tv' and 'zee news'!! and 'parsi bavaa' for some time. it was really funny. but not food. Banjaaraa was the WORST place i ever had been for dinner. it was really sucking. the food colour is still on my fingers, dark red. and i feel that 'garam masala' in my stomach. but above all, while returning to home, me and mansi had some talk abt something that was really shocking and strange. but what can we do? we cant solve this problem, as its unique in its way. before that, me and mansi went to gym, where she revealed some matters !! it was really shocking and funny to certain extent.

i just had some Jack Deniel's, 3 or 4, i dont know !! hah ! its the best feeling i can ever have. its Saurins's BD, and we had lots of fun. the journey began from this morning where we all had bearkfast togather. and than we went to city, where we met 'minoo', a very unique and interesting new character in my life. I'll talk abt this later, but now let me tell you that we had some champagne and desert wine and Jack Deniel's. and all people are crying and exploring and revealing all those secreats!! its fun, sotimes. I m not in conditition to write any shit, so i m stopping here. yaa, one more thing, William is another Character in this life. talk abt him later.

its like i m f***ed up !! i finished at 11 last night and started again at 8 this morning. 1 hr of transportation is not included !! at 2 pm today, i was almost dead !! but who cares. what else i had to do. just make fun and do jobs. hah !! bought a new dvd rom. it is a gr8 reliefe to have it. it took me some 4-5 hrs to install windows. and one HDD was almost dead during thta operation. but i dont time time to write about all shit things !! so just F*** off !!

hey, wanna know abt melbourne's weather??? ystrday, i was waiting for tram at Burke St. it was hot outside, so i decided to have some fappucino from starbucks. i went in there, and when i came out, i really wished i would have ordered some hot coffee !! hah !! it was so capricious and unpredictable !! same with mansi. i remember how upset she was last night, and this morning too. but thanks to khushi, that a little talk with her made mansi feel so light that she was really cheeered up. i was trying to keep that smile on her face all the time, but somehow khushi was her special friend that she could do that from 10,000 miles away !! and i am not that special one, neither i have any special friend. and i dont neeed one either, bcaz most of the time, i find my problems so funny that i can make good jokes out of it and make people laugh. hah!! may be its a god gift that i can make any serious situation very funny !! remember that accident on Goa Bombay Road. hah ! nothing could be as serious as an accident in middle of a jungle at night. but i was busy to make them laugh. hah !! i dont know its stupidity of someting else !! but mansi was very happy today. may be not so happy, but may be more relaxed to ommitt all those rubbish she was holding in her heart for a long time. i tried to help her, but may be she needed khushi to listen to her. and thats all right. their conversation at IGA solved this problem to a certain extent. may be she will get rid of these feelings pretty soon !!