i just realised how u feel when u crash on earth when u r flying on a dream ride. its heart breaking. you cant explian the pain in words. you can't cry, tears doesnt come out easily. u can't show yr pain, but cant hide in yr eyes. when a close friend hurts you so badly, u can't ignore it, u have to accept the pain. may be tomorrow i will be feeling better, but i will never ever forget these moments. this is the worst feeling i had in life. worst. i had no more bitter expereince than this. i was looking for a surprise from this routine life, but what i get is a SHOCK !!

its saturday night, and we just came back from Melbourne central. this time it was not so grooving as it was last night. and there were so many changes in the plans. i had some headach that spoiled all mood. talked to megha again tonight, that made me feel so good again. well, nothing else to write abt. life was as usual, except bruce asked me abt my chinese girlfriend. and i was confuced who is she?? according to him, jenny was my girlfriend, but its not like that. she is my good friend, i dont care who thinks what. hah !! well, shit things happen in life, u just need to let it go....let it go !

congratulations and celebrations......yeppy, we got a new home, close to tooranga station, very close to city. hah ! its a realife, great reliefe. now, no more watiing for those buses and trams. its all sucking. but this bring so many other problems as well. there are so many things we bought in common, but now its time to devide all those. god knows what will happen. but i dont care abt it, its time to celebrate at new home. we gonna sign bond tomorrom and will move soon !!

last night i had a great talk with megha, yaa, some talk and lots of chat. its always good to talk to her. i fall in love again with her. hah !! once again !! she is just like chocolate, irresistible for me, but not good for my health. its a painful temptation, and i gotta hold my self on that. today, she wrote me a poetry, a piece of poetry that somehow talk abt me, and may be more abt her...




“Something Beautiful"
You can't manufacture a miracle
The silence was pitiful that day.
A love is getting too cynical
Passion's just physical these days
You analyze everyone you meet
But get no sign, love ain't kind every night
you admit defeatand
cry yourself blind
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
The DJ said on the radio
Life should be stereo, each day
In the past you cast the unsuitable
Instead of some kind of beautiful,
you just couldn't wait
All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no
Forgot the time feeling petrified,
when they lived alone



how can someone think something like this.?? i will never figure it out. but i like the line where she talks abt 'analysing people i meet everyday'. this is the most common problem with everyone. its made my life worse, but now, i m overcoming with that problem slowly. i want to talk a lot with megha, but i cant. its never difficult to open those secrets with her, never hard to cry out my heart. why shudnt i propose her?? well, i, and we both, believe that some relationships are so beautiful just bcaz they dont have given any name. so let this relationship as virgin as it is. we both dont want to temper with it. ravi, wait for a while, have some pateint, amd you will find someone like megha with 'patel' surname. well, thats very important, u cant just help with it...hah !!

life sucks when you have to find a new house, in an alien country, with double figure in account, with no reference, with lable of Overseas student from Asia, without a car, using public transportation, in 35 degree, with smokey atmosphere caused by bush fire, and with somany so many other problems......

but its PM who helped a lot today. but still, hot and dry day makes me sick and tired. but somehow, i finished my job with wan and bonnie. Bruce also joined later, but i dont like that guy so i wont talk abt him. PM hates him. hah !! ewll, cherry showed up today. i asked her 'wheres jenny'? and she replied, " i havents seen her for a long time, what have u done to my friend??" and i was like........"me?? what cud i do??" " but i will tell u if i will do something, hah". and she said "she feels so alone and sad, and its a secret." so i sent jenny a msgs, but she didnt replied. may be she wants be in that situation. who can make her feel good if she doenst want to be. forget it than. i sent megha an sms to appear online. lets see what happens. till than, let me talk to miss bio info, miss Shreya.....

Lord of the ring. it took whole 11 hrs to watch all 3 parts of this epic movie. started at 12 at noon, finished now, at 11.03. the whole fucking day all we did is just watching movie, movie 2 and movie 3....hah !!

last night was a very different, out of this routine life and extra ordinary. if someone has not pick up my phone, has missed a lot of fun. the day started with a routine activvities. but as days passed, i cud feel the groove in the air. mansi was on her job and everybody else was out. but in my back head, i had alreally planned for a saturday night with mansi and PM. so i went to IGA to pick up mansi. and there, i came to know that all other people in the house wanted to join party. so they came to flinders, along with PM and we were just abt to start a wondeful, dancing, grooving, full of fun saturday night. we went to melbourne central lions group pub. its a great place to be. entry was free, so we all just rushed in. music beats were making us dance, but we were happy with tapping feets. nobody wanted to drink, so me and PM had a JUG of STELLA, i love that. its more than 1 ltr in that beer jug. so me and pm started. i think one is not enough for us. so i rushed to the counter, and grabbed another jug. 2 jugs, only for me and PM.. hah !! that was cooooool. i was thrusty for a long time. PM was already at his best with 2-3 glass. but i was on my way to heaven....a long way to go. So, i just slow down and started dancing with Saurin, mansi and PM. its coooool. this was the best scene of the night. there were some 8-10 chinese guys and girls. but when we gujjus started 'garba' on english beats, those chinese guys also jumped in. and i realised that melbourne is really a multi cultural country. it was like........english beats, chinese and gujju guys and we were playing garba. hahh !! it was 'jordaar' scene. this was not enogh, so me and mansi had 'shambhuka shot' hah !! i love it. its cooooool !! and we were at out best. we were the centre of the party. saurin was gr8 on dance floor. and PM/.....he started that unique dance and later on, those chinese guys agian jumped in. it was really fun....i called megha twice, but may be she was not in mood to pick up the damn phone. anyways, we were enjoying alot.
saturday night doent end when we came back home. at bus stop, me, saurin, mansi and tulsi were doing garbas, and those aussies asses were screaming and chearing with us. hah. that was coooool. at home, we had to face another scene, and this one was funnier that the last one. at home, montu and me brought Chivas Regal, not for me and him only, but everyone at home joined party. there was a glass for everyone. everyone, except saurin were "DRUNK". and i mean that. "drunk" means "drunk". hah, and that was really great. so many things happened after that. mansi was like...normal. tulsi was laughing. guddi was crying, juji was angree, montu was quiet, saurin was spectater, and i was ....i dont know where i was. but i kept drinking. and first time in life i felt losing conciousness. i was not ravi, i was someone else, in another world, world not created by damn god. hah !! ha ha ha ! thats wonderful. and this morning..... i hit hard on the earth, created by god. my head is spinning, its not aching, its spinning...than why the hell i m writing a lot............

it was jsut another normal day, started with "khalnayak". its a nice movie. and than me and mansi went to job. just another normal job day. but she didnt turned up today. i sent her a msg, but i think jenny was too busy to come down. anyways, i m not diappointed, as me and mansi were having good time with ivan. i was a bit drunk last night and had a talk with megha last night. its alwys gr8 to have her to talk with. i love it. i love her too. hah ! but you know what i think..........it doesnt matter what i think !!

i m a bit drunk right now. and why shudnt i? it was a free drink at Melbounre Central Pub. its a nice place, i love to be there. next saturday i will be there. i like dark room and heavy noisey metal rock. it makes me feel good. its not a party or dance time, but its only good time with friends. i hate dance parties, or i dont like them much. but i like some good loud music with some drinks and friends. it was a wonderful day. from morning, we applied for some 3-4 houses at camberwell. nice place to live. and after that, me and PM went to melbourne centrar to watch Casino Royale. its a shit movie. looks like a yash raj's love story. fucking story was it. i hated it. but anyways, we had a great drink after that. 2 btls of Stella is good enough. and than, we came down to home. and i m having great time with megha, so i dont wanna waste these moments by blogging here. good night !!

life is strange. and you believe in it when you go out for a long drive from Kew to St Kilda nad Fottscray and roaming around melbourne from 12.30 to 3 am, on dark roads, with PM and mansi, just bcaz you can not sleep. hah, after finishing all things, i went to bed and almost sleeping when mansi came out and said she can not sleep. eventually PM was there, so we 3 guys decided to go for a long drive. so PM drived us trough melbourne CBD, st Kilda, kew, glendferry, camberwell and almost all good places in melbourne. it was great. mansi was very happy and light after that ride. she was feeling very heavy, so she needed to throw out all those rubbish in her small mind, hah. and PM and me helped her to cheer up. and actually we 3 helped eachother to cheer up eachother. and i was a great ride, a long drive, i will remember this one for the rest of my life....

and this morning, we all again started our quest for new house. its great. its a wonderful experience. we really had great day today. we checked out some 3-4 houses, which is really good record. and all those houses were excellent.

at job, i had another remarkable moment of my life as Jenny came down to buy wine with Cherry. after few hrs, she came back to buy Corona. i asked her to join tha party and we strated to drink right outside IGA. it was great. i was on job, and we were drinkning outside. we were talking about abt people arounf us and ourselves. we were talking abt all those good and bad things happned to our lives, we were laughing, and somehow, we were sharing something special to each other. it was cooool. i dont know, but i told her that i m gonna remember these moments for the rest of my life. these are one of the rarest collection of memories of this life.

there is another world inside me, that you may never see.....
there are so many secrets in this eye that i can't hide.....
somewhere in this darkness, there's a light that i can not find....
may be it too far away, or may be i am just blind.....

today was one of the most important day of my life. it was my Graduation day. i m officially graduate today.it was great. all graduates were there with black gown and funny hat. i dont what they call it in latin, but i find it very heavy and funny. it makes me feel sleep, and actually i fell in sleep once. but that lecture was really boring yaar. how can you stop someone from speaking rubbish from that loud speakers. but anyways, it was a memorable day. but on this special occasion, i found myself alone in this alien country. so i forced mansi to come with me. as she is the only best and special friend i have here. yaa, there are so many friends arond, but i had only 2 passes. me and mansi were planning to watch movies, but we are busy with looking around propeties, and handling and baring a serious problem abt some silly people. god knows how he created such minds.
today was the day for boys to prepare dinner, so i decided to make some mix vege and roties. and i must thank all other boys who really prepared that dinner. hah ! i was busy with jenny, as she said she will miss me when i will leave for india. ha ha ha !! is it funny or strange. and than i talked to my parents on phone, and my dad told me that that chinese girl will not be able to cope up in india, so dont think atb her. And i replied " oh . i m not serioud abt her, i m not even thinking abt that topic , i was just kidding. " but i must say my parents are very helpful to me. i m lucky to have such a great family.

searching for a new house is one of the best experience i m having in life. its great. from the morning, me , mansi, montu and tulsi went out to look for another house. it was really hot yrstday, but quite nice windy and cool weather today. it really halped. searching for home online, looking for agents door to door, bagging for keys, and get diappoint for those properties for which we were let. its all fucking awesome. hah !! but its coooool. well, its my graduation ceremony 2moro morning, so i wanna have a nice sleep tonight. and i just tried that black gown and hat. its looks awkward, but it will loook great 2moro. nothing much to write today, it was almost usual day. but i was feeling some good today. feeling good, light and happy !!

its was an abnormal day in this routine life. we all patels, except saurin, who is a legend in himself, and jay, dignesh and bhoomi went to Frankston beach. we had really great day. it was damn hot and we enjoyed that sea bath for 2 hrs. great fun. but last night i was really angree with all people in house. everyone was watching movie with so loud volume, and mansi was sleeping in her room and didnt allow me to sleeep there. so i had to bare montu till early morning. the tourture didnt finish there, so i went out and slept in main room. and i was stucked in that little coach. fuck it. who cares. today was great, so i want forget abt ystrday. and that movie 'aatma' was really funny. well, officially it was horror, but its funny. and me and mansi made it hillarious. oh man, aftr a long time we had such good time. it was great day..

and i got another mail from megha, that make me feel high. i dont know why, but it makes me feel so special that i wanna write a special blog for her. but its 1.15 am, and i m really tired. so megha, you know hwat i want to write. and even if you dont know, who cares. we will talk abt it in private. hah !!

i was fucked up last night. walked all day long, looking for properties, and temp was almost 33-35. and start job at 5 pm. it was worst than that. only me and mansi know how we finished at 11. and worst thing was that i had to start at 8 this morning. and i just cudnt wake up at 7. but wake up at 7.50, got ready in 5 mins and got the bus of 7.59. it was really fast. and it was really busy at IGA. Jessie was there with PM. and it was really great day. we had so many talk today. and she told me that she heard that that chinese girl likes me. even she is not sure, but she think so. i dont know that truth, and that a wonderful state of mind. bcaz half the problem occurs bcaz you know something. when you dont know anything, you are free to do anything. hah !! well, in this case, i m flying back to india in Feb, leaving al things and memories in melbourne. India has its own fantastic life, same here. both life had its own way of enjoying. but i think india is much better, where i can have peace of mind. i dont like very slow life, but i dont want to run after an illusion or mirag. but after finishing at IGA, me and PM went home in his car. its great to have car. its very handy. than we went back to IGA. where i found mansi was crying on phone as she was talking to her mom. and abt whom?? that will make you laugh. sometimes, in life, you face a kinda situation that you dont feel angry, joyful, happy, sad, tired, bored or any other feeling. you just look at that situation and look at you. you just get amazed. its serious, but its funny as well. its one of the most imp decisions in your life, but you can take it in a sec. makes me feel happy for a sec, and amazed on other moment. crazy things happen in life, this is one of them in my life. its abt me and mansi. we are like tracks of train, who are with each other for a long journey, but we never meet each other, and will not be. but nature has its own plans. but i think we wont let that happen, do we?? but i dont think abt the result of this situation, i just enjoy being in this situation, just like all other strange situations. this is one the most funny and owkward situation i had till now. its funny. and one more thing that jessie told me today. its funny too. i proposed so many girls, but no one gave me positive reply. for the first time in life, a nice girl is interested in me, but i cant move a inch forward. its shit, but its funny. shit things happen in life. tomorrow, in future, i m gonna look at these moments and will laugh, just laugh......

this world is a very cruel place. pain of one is joy for other. defeat of one is victory for other. and some people talk abt god. hah !! i am not even sure about his existance. its not that i m against him, but i m not by his side as well. i believe discrimination is the biggest sin human can committ. but how god can do that?? sometimes i wonder watching those children in air condition cars, screaming for Big Mac at McDonalds, toys and ice creams, new clothes, special gifts every christmas. and when i look at those pictures from middle east and africa, i hardly differenciate a skaleton and those black, skinny, hungry, naked, barefoot, uneducated, homeless children. how can god do this to their children? this is not fair. and i cant help it but watch this. of ocurse, i would like to do what ever i can.
watched ivan's video. it was cooool. he is a great man and good phylosopher. i believe a man can be a happy man if he has a nice wife, otherwise he becomes a phylosopher. hah !! just kidding. no offence jessie. just like ivan, even i get upset at beach. i dont know why but it makes me feel so down. its like yellow colour, anti-energy, or say energy sucker. so i prefer not to go there. but how can i forget taht 31st December 2005. it was one of the most beautiful nights in this life. it was the first time i got drunk. getting drunk is a great light feeling. sometimes i jsut get tired of being rational and wise. sometimes i just want to unfold myself, lose control, lost track, fall in love, sleep in arms, talk about stupid things, want to be stupid, fly naked, kiss that girl, scream, sing along with radio, stay awake all night counting stars with her, and so many other things. when i get drunk, i can lose myself. actually i believe that there are 2 person inside me. one is wise and makes rational decision. and another just believe in fun and enjoyment. he doesnt care abt all shit of world, just listen to music, dance, watch movies, spend money, makes wrong decisions and laugh at those bad decisions. but sometimes, i jsut get myself stucked between these 2 guys....

it was a fucking long day. i want to cross the limits and dont want to type any ***** here. it was fucking boring at IGA. just want to call someone and talk a lot, talk abt anything. tired of talking to myself. i want a surprise, or a miracle to escape myself. but there was no body to talk with. everybody is fucking busy with their own problems. when you call someone, reply comes "i m at job", "i m busy, doing assignments" and all other shit. May be someone from india, but all friends are preapring for exams. Megha replied after along time, and handed me a lolipop that she will come back soon !! hah !! mansi is facing some tough time these days. so i m not teasing her too much. otherwise, i wud have ate her mind, but as she is facing some blackouts bcaz of blood or himoglobin problems, i prefered to do this later. Than to whom i can give a ring. i went trough all phone contacts in mobile, but no one was there to call. than suddenly fucking god appear, as he is all time free to talk with me. He is such a fucking idiot. PM came to grab that keys when i told him abt this fucking god. this fucking god left me in a situation where i cant move ahead, nor go backward. its like i m stuck with something in trought that i cant swallow, not trough out. i was really more happy before that fucking night. that night left me its black marks on my mind. i hate this feelings. its like being in a deungone. and i want to get out of it. its all dark in here. its only me to whom i can talk. but i rather scream out for help. and all i hear is nothing but laughing god and that girl. and i fucking think why the fuck i m here. why the fuck god created me? hey god, i think you are fucking tired and bored. dont you have anything interesting to do than fucking up my life? !! btw, i got my black gown that i will wear on graduation ceremony on 12th Dec 2006 !!

f**k the f***ing day of f***ing life. its was really a f***ing day.. i had to wake up at 7 and go to f***ing job. and had lods of work to do. i was almost f***ed up at 4. but got some dvds to relax at night. but the day was f**ing hot today. and it was a tens kinda atmosphere at home, so everybody was f***ing each other, it was like f***ing cold war was going on in home. damn f***ing things f***ed me up again. but it was all calm down later. i dont know what kinda relations people have?? its all f***ing temptations and lust. F***ing people just want to keep f***ing. but PM drived dwon his new second hand toyota home. so we went to a long small drive. it is a sexy car, damn f***ing sexy, as i was f***ing it after driving it. hah !!

me and mansi were at IGA on sunday evening where i <> jenny as she was home. and she was really estonished by hearing my voice on her intercom. hah ! she was confused and a bit frightned !! hah...it was funny, even mansi was there. it was coooool !! i will do that again ! ha ha ha !!

hah, its was the day for saurin. he turned 25 today. but .......but but but.......but mansi was the showgirl for today. i dont know what happened to her, but she was behaving like 'channel 9', and than we tried to turn the channel to 'star tv' and 'zee news'!! and 'parsi bavaa' for some time. it was really funny. but not food. Banjaaraa was the WORST place i ever had been for dinner. it was really sucking. the food colour is still on my fingers, dark red. and i feel that 'garam masala' in my stomach. but above all, while returning to home, me and mansi had some talk abt something that was really shocking and strange. but what can we do? we cant solve this problem, as its unique in its way. before that, me and mansi went to gym, where she revealed some matters !! it was really shocking and funny to certain extent.

i just had some Jack Deniel's, 3 or 4, i dont know !! hah ! its the best feeling i can ever have. its Saurins's BD, and we had lots of fun. the journey began from this morning where we all had bearkfast togather. and than we went to city, where we met 'minoo', a very unique and interesting new character in my life. I'll talk abt this later, but now let me tell you that we had some champagne and desert wine and Jack Deniel's. and all people are crying and exploring and revealing all those secreats!! its fun, sotimes. I m not in conditition to write any shit, so i m stopping here. yaa, one more thing, William is another Character in this life. talk abt him later.

its like i m f***ed up !! i finished at 11 last night and started again at 8 this morning. 1 hr of transportation is not included !! at 2 pm today, i was almost dead !! but who cares. what else i had to do. just make fun and do jobs. hah !! bought a new dvd rom. it is a gr8 reliefe to have it. it took me some 4-5 hrs to install windows. and one HDD was almost dead during thta operation. but i dont time time to write about all shit things !! so just F*** off !!

hey, wanna know abt melbourne's weather??? ystrday, i was waiting for tram at Burke St. it was hot outside, so i decided to have some fappucino from starbucks. i went in there, and when i came out, i really wished i would have ordered some hot coffee !! hah !! it was so capricious and unpredictable !! same with mansi. i remember how upset she was last night, and this morning too. but thanks to khushi, that a little talk with her made mansi feel so light that she was really cheeered up. i was trying to keep that smile on her face all the time, but somehow khushi was her special friend that she could do that from 10,000 miles away !! and i am not that special one, neither i have any special friend. and i dont neeed one either, bcaz most of the time, i find my problems so funny that i can make good jokes out of it and make people laugh. hah!! may be its a god gift that i can make any serious situation very funny !! remember that accident on Goa Bombay Road. hah ! nothing could be as serious as an accident in middle of a jungle at night. but i was busy to make them laugh. hah !! i dont know its stupidity of someting else !! but mansi was very happy today. may be not so happy, but may be more relaxed to ommitt all those rubbish she was holding in her heart for a long time. i tried to help her, but may be she needed khushi to listen to her. and thats all right. their conversation at IGA solved this problem to a certain extent. may be she will get rid of these feelings pretty soon !!

its one of the most memorable day in this life. Its time to welcome a baby girl in family. Prashantbhai is 'daddy' now !! and artibhabhi is 'mom'!! hey, its party time !! wow, that was great news that i received this morning. and everything was else was routine. Yesterday we planned out to wash all clothes in house, which costed $65 to mansi, tulsi and montu. hah !! i had some Ts and jeans, so i finished it home. We thought it would be sunny day today, but suddenly weather was changed this morning, which was nothing unusual. and while we were having good time, suddenly i shouted "bhaago", as rained started and we had all our clothes hanging outside. so it was a run to save the day. and than i was working on PC, which is very difficult to format. Its being used by 5 peoples, so u can imagine what kinda things you will find on that PC. and at this, that girl is telling rubbish things to her mom that how tough job she is doing these days. she is really perfect for doublr role. or more than double roles i guess. but lets talk abt job and jenny !! i met jessie and ivan this afternoon. jessie got that little baby bump on her belly ! that was great. they gonna have another big duty soon !! hah !! i dont know how does it feel, bcaz its a long way for me to feel that. jenny came down to have some ice cream, but i cudnt see her. and i kept working with iVan whole evening. now i m with some chocolate bars, 4 different flavors. hah !! just to celebrate herry's and new girl's birthday !!

i was f***ing tired this morning. i didnt wanted to leave my so called bed !! oh !! i can still feel that backache, caused by hard physical work on tuesday. but i had to go for a run, so wake up at 11. and i had job at night as well, and my all clothes were so dirty that i had to wash some of them !! so after washing some Ts and jeans, i went to job, where robert gave me a bad news that he wants me to work on tuesday morning. (i m dead now) !! hah !but i got enogh working hrs, so it doesnt matter. but i wanted some evenign shift, you know why !! yaa, thats the only way i cud spend some time with that shanghai girl !! but forget it !! who cares, i m going back to india. so these things shouldnt be bothering me !! some people stole liquor from the shop. and i know one of them !! so may be next time i can help a bit to solve this case. but john and robert were helpless to copy that roecording to cd. they were like little kids with that computer. and i was, encountering first time with that camera software, helping them to copy images and movies. that was shit !! they were illiterate or what !! anyways, jenny didnt appear today as she was out with her roommate. and i wanted to talk to megha, but shes busy with her exams !! god knows whats going all arond !! ok than, i m f***ing tired, so i m going to bed, bye bye !

after a long time i m scrapping something here. i was bit busy with family on vacation. Gold coast was a fantastic place, but i hated sydney !! anyways, i went to movie "texas chainsaw massacre" with Jenny. after a long time and so many fiasccos, we finally watched a movie. its "the wrong man" and "devil wears prada" and so many other movies we planned out to watch. but we ended with a chicken meal and a vege burger at Nando's and a 18+ horror movie at Melbourne Centar at 9 pm on 27th Nov. it was a good movie, partly inspired from a true story back in 1973. we had planty of talk abt my career (less on that) and her career(more on that) !! hah !! she sounds like she is bored with her job and wanna try out something new, but she cant decide what to do. she can not make new more friends, she was passing time with Crossword book, she watch movies alone and god know what else she does alone !! sometimes she just make me feel bore with her. but it was a nice evening with her. may be we will go again !!

woooooooooo ! ! its all vacation time. having trips around melbourne these days. !! they all came down at our place on tuesday. and we went to City Tour on wednesday and today........we went to Great Ocean Road for whole day. it was really fun !! they are feeling a bit bored but still enojoying. and we had all talk about all people in family. it was fun to know about all those kids doing great fun at home, back to india.

I knew that melbourne's weather is capricious, but I was not expecting SNOW FALL in SUMMER !! its out of mind.!! great !!

i was talking abt that chinese gilr to my parents, and fortunetly or unforetunetly, jenny met me on burke street. They were on the distance of 50 feet. i asked her to ocme and see my parents, but she was bit shy and waiting for tram, so refused to come accross the street !! but anyways, i will be away from this posting for few days. i m gonna miss megha and internet these days !! hah !!

after 362 days, i met my family face to face !! oh man, that was wonderful moments !! and i was really shocked !! my sis was totally changed. she almost half of what she was when i left india last year !! oh man!! i wish i cud lose weight like that !! my parents were as usual ! not any big difference !!
but i was really confused and tensioned ! i m in same situation right now !! i cud imagine what they will be expecting when i will be there in india !! and i m afraided and frightened and donno what kinda things i m feeling !! well, i gotta go now, i must sleep well. i have to wake up early 2moro !
but before that, i wanna tell that after a long time megha came online. it was a great time to chat with her !! wonderful. even when sometimes doesnt bother me, i pretend that its bothering me and try to send her msg to come online nad have chat with her. i m addicted !! its not goood, but i like that !! well, i really wanna write a lot abt her, but at this, 1am i want to sleep bcaz i have some plans for 2moro. so, good night and sweet dreams !!

it always happens !! when u have lots of work to do or assignments are due, people just find time to get online and love to have chat with you. but the moment u have nothing to do and just seat back and look at the celling, no one is there in yahoo, msn or google messanger. bull shit !!



another funny thing.....scene kaa kerosene ho gayaa !! me and jenny were about to watch movie "the wrong man" at 4 at melbourne central. but she didnt turn up!! i called her and send her msg, but she didnt replied. and hours later, she called me from her home and apologize for that !! what a shit!! what should i do?!! ruined my whole sunday!!

i donno whtas wrong with her !! she tells me that she feels very lonely in this city. so i planned out to have some fun and go for movie and dinner, but she didnt turned up. Last night i asked to go to Crown or go for movie as it was saturday night. But she was feeling sleepy !! hah !! she wants to be alone, and complains abt loneliness ! how can anybody help her out !! i donno !!


but it was wondeful day. its raining out and i have nothing to do. so i m doing NOTHING. just seat in front of pc, watch 3-4 movies at a time for half and hour, and than play game for 13 mins, than read time for 8.45 minutes, and then play balls for 3 mins....what a shit !! how can sunday be like this ! its all borign !! i rather do my job !

it was a great day. i watched Fight Club last night. it was a gr8 movie !! that movie has great dilouges. "u have to consider the probability that god doesnt love u. u r unwanted child of god. he hates you." and "self improvement is masturbation, but self distruction...." and "it only after you have lost everthing you have, you are free to do anything", and my fav..."the things you own, start owning you" !! brad pitt was great, excellent !!

and another thing i must write that i m drunk at this time. and i m feeling so good !! its like.......flying naked.....!! hah !! montu is also drunk !! but i think from this morning, i learned a new thing. if you read lmy last night's blog, you will find me blamming me others. but today i realise that its only me who can put me in situation i desire to be in !! Its only me who can controll me and my fate. of ocurse, god exists, but he will not do anything. It like....my story is written a way before, all diologues and scripts !! but its up to me what tone i can use to speak out those dioluges ! So now onwards, i will enojoy my victory and will not blem others for my failure !! fuck the rest of the world. i dont give a shit to this world. its only me who can help me to be where i want to be !!

well, i just planned out with jenny that we will go to watch " the wrong man" at 4 pm 2moro !! but lets see what happens. i dont give a shit if she says no !! this is the last chance for her. i want to be her freind, she feels lonely so i want her to take out and have some fun !! bcaz i feel the same! but i dont know whats going on in her mind. lets see what happens tomorrow !!!

i watched "jackass 2" with PM. it was great movie, a bit strange and wired, but its funny ! specially that stunt where 4 guys seat in a 'seasaw' with a bull !! hah ! that was great !!

and this is melbourne central where i watch movies !! and up above, there's an advertisement of iPod at Burke St !! and look at this Burke St. isnt it beautiful !!?

i go back to the day of results of 12th !! it was unbelievable !! i still remember each and every moment after entering into school gate. i was with my dad, parin and his dad. i was expecting 80%, atleast that !! and when i went to school, some classmates started greeting me for being first from the school. well, that i had not expected, and i cudnt believe me till UR Pater greeted me !! that was wonderful. my family was very happy, and i still remember that my parents arranged a party for that too............and today......i just gor MBA marketing degree !! wow !! how excited should i be..!! but its nothing that i can get excieted abt. to whom i share these feelings !! of course my parents will be here soon, in matter of hours !! But i can not feeel that way i was feeling on that day. i got distinction, credit and pass in each sunject. overall, i was good at study !! but who cares, as i realised that this piece of paper can not claim how smart or dump i m !! its only me who can judge myself !!

khushi came back from HP, and she said it was a great trip !!

and i m waiting for her to get online !! so many things to share......... oh come on yaar !!

he mess up with your life and will create 101 reasons afterwards that will make you feel that all those things went wrong were actually good for you. and we always like to make ourselves fool. He likes to mess up my life too. and i feel like a child, he will make my cry first, and will handle me a lolipop later! and that will make me happy too!! bullshit !!

it was a wonderful day. I went to CQU after a long time, just to print out my eticket. I think its all set and we will have great fun ! ! my family will be here on monday, only 3 more days !! Sejal was there too, at cqu. actually its time for results now, so we all waiting for it!!

at IGA, it was a different story. I was with iVan, and i think theres nothing to write much abt this. but jenny finished her exams today. Exam was pretty bad, but she was happy !! wow !! she came down to buy Henieken !! and than came again to ask me for some money ! sometimes i feel like we talk without using words. Chances are high of my being wrong, but who cares. It makes me happy, so i m gonna do that. I know its not gonna be for a long time, but lets enoy NOW !! i dont know about 2moro, so why think so long ahead !! ? we are planinng to watch a movie on saturday. nothing more than that !!

I know that it's wrong
but I keep hanging on
I know it won't be long
till I'll find out she's gone
And I'll be lonely again

This time, trying to be smart
and don't leave with my heart ....
.....the way I always do...

and still, i dont know whats wrong with megha's pc.!! it always happen !! wheneevr u runout of change, people ask for it. People always ask for a slab of beer that we dont have or it is at the bottom of 9 slabs. Always ask for thigns we dont have. same here. When i want to share somehitng important, she is not here. well, happiness has to be shared to feel that happiness. You just cant be happy by your self. I finished my masters, but i dont feel that excited, bcaz i dont have anyone to share that feelings. but i m fine. I will wait for her !! there are some good and bad and strange things i NEED to share with her !! oh megha, come back fast.......

hah, ha ha ha !! ha ha ha ha !! ......it was another normal day. !!! so trying to bring some jOy in life. so i m cracking jokes all around. And i was with iVan, so it was very hard to tell him a joke, believe me!! he is a nice guy !! but i like to spend time with girls, so i went next door with Elva and bonnie !! well, whatever, but these girls are really good at quick answers !! specially Elva...smart ass..ooooops....smart cow !! hah !! it was a joke abt 'ti ti' and a teacher in the children classroom !! very funny !! "the harder u rub it, the bigger it gets" !! but it was the one part of the day....most exciting news for today is.............my parents are coming here next monday !! hurrrreeeeeeeyyyyy !! its fun time !!! after one year, 364 days !! wow !! it will be great fun !! tomorrow i m gonna read their schedule and make plans !! really very excited !!

than i called bhai.........gopi bhai !!! she is always in good mood (or my call make her very happy??!!) hah !! yaa, she was happy, and it was 'lumbi juddai" from both of her boyfriends !! but i told her taht i am looking for a chinese chick, so may be i will not be available !! and they are tired of college, but as this is the last term, its gives some reliefe !! well in my case, i have results 2moro, i m worried and nervous. theres nothing to worry abt, but still, results always scare me more than exams !! but no worries, everything will be fine !! and if doesnt, who cares !!

it was a public holiday, bcaz aussies like to see hourses !! well, it was Melbourne Cup today, so it was a public holiday !! so i just finished the routine, charged the camera and went to city, without iPod !! i want to hear the sound of nature for a while. so i went to Fed sSqr and there were so many others to watch that cup on big screen !! it was a wonderful place to be. than i went to IGA where John left at 2, again, public holiday !! hah !! so PM and clovey, another chinese girl, were working there. and it was my luck that bonnie arrived before i leave IGA. so we had some sweeet sweet talk !! hah !! than its movie time ! me and PM wanted to watch a movie, dont know which one. so at melbourne central, we decided to watch Grudge 2. aaaaaah ! not so bad, it was a bit scary, 6.5/10 !! not so bad !! than i came home and download some music. nothing was unusual today !!

can u hear those bells??....if not, than visit Burke st., those christmas bells and stars will remind u that its Crishtmas time !!! I was there after finishing daily activities. Its melbourne cup tomorrow, so the place was a bit crowded ! and as usual, i was standing at corner of Burke st and swanston st.,witing for tram no 1. And suddnely, i heard some people clapping !! there was still some time from tram to arrive. so i just wanted to see whats going on at the entrance of Nike store. It was a unusual scene i could see. people, always with those white buds in ear, listening to two violinists. well, there artists were not like others. and that was making all people listen to them and clap. There was a girl, age of 10 and another of 6 or 7 !! and they were being cheered like stars by that croud !!they were playing their violin, like they were talking to it....i mean, really, you have to see it to beilve it. Their tunes were as beautiful as these two girls are !! wow ! I believe it was my luck that i got a chance to see and listen to them. It was not only me, but all people were standing over there, just listening to them, doing nothing else. it was great sight.

And what i watching on the other corner of the street??? a man and woman, standing there with a sign board of "free hugs" !! and they were hugging persons passing by. and they were getting good response too !! it was crazy at first sight...but was really nice to see that for a while...

and now its time for some action with Ivan and Bonnie....bonnie is a girl who pick up a cold water bottle from fridge and put it in microwave, because its cold. you got Bonnie, or do i need to give some more example?? ok, i asked her " so u r alone now?" and she replied, " even i know some jokes"...and she asked me " do u like Jemmie's SMELL'???" and i was like..........."what?? i never smelled her?" and she was like......"no no no, not smell.....smile....do u like her smile??" !!well, she was bonnie, a chinese girl (as far as i believe) !! She is nice, but sometimes she just cant handle it !! we were cracking jokes......and here comes her first joke.....she asked " what would u call a fat guy jumped from 20th floor??".........and can u imagine what she answered??? she said "dead fat guy"...now stop laughing....it was not that good joke !!! hah !! she's funny, crazy and a good girl !! hah !! it was great time pass time with all these guys at IGA. !! and then come some other guys from next door, Elva, the while chinese girl with Big **** !! hah !! she is great !! very quike reply !! u cant expect what she's gonan shoot next !! and when it come to all Elva, Jemmie and Bonnie togather...........that makes me helpless!! Elva and Bonnie tried to fix me with Jemmie, bonnei's roommate. !! are yaar, i cant handle one at time, and they want me to handle another girl !! Jemmie is a nice girl, but.....its not possible !!

And then comes the stonned girl !! busy with exams, or keeps her self busy with something or nothing !! she is confused....confused bcaz she doesnt know what to do !! alone and sad !! pretends something else while ivan is with me !! but behaves differently while there are only we two !! sometimes it makes me angry.....Ivan asked me what makes me angry. And i replied........I m so tired, just want to talk to my friend, but her computer is hangged up !!................and i again feel disconnected.....

"chau cha. yi chi pa chu chau change, te ushi reshu tyemli, aushi ashi shau sha !" " he he he", " chi sha la shi shau"...................u understand anything???.......neither me !! well, it was a conversation between jessy, jenny and cherry. what a debate it was. i though they were fighting, unless they start laughing. I hate this. It was torture for 10 mins. no no no, it continued for 20-25 minutes, but after 10 mins, i was fainted, my ears were not accepting that sound. I dont know what was that, but thank god, it finished !! Ivan sweped with jessy, so it was a good day for me! and one more thing, when i entered into IGA, john and rob were leaving. so it was something more than a good day. hah ! well, it was not busy, so i called up jenny, but didnt talk to her. and she came down with her arms around her belly with same old fashion. she is really cute !! and i realised she is more beautiful, when cherry was also there with her. it was a nice talk with those chinese ladies. i dont know actually, i hardly had chance to understand and reply in their debate !!

and i just finished a chat session with her !! its 2.44 am and she sent me msg at 1.30 to get online !! i dont know whats this. she was asking me how she was looking at that night when she came down with make up. she was asking me to desribe her in words. she was asking to wheather she is pretty or not? may be she was drunk. may be she had something to share. may be she is hidding somehting to herself. may be she lost her way. may be she was feeling so lonely. I tell u what, this melbourne .............. its better to have someone very close and trustworthy to live life. I m missing taht part of life too. everyone is running around for them selves. its so alone and isolated here.......

it was a very quiet at IGA tonight. very unusual for saturday night. It was only $6000 sale when i left at 11.20 pm. But i spent most of the time next door. Elva and her friend Jemmi were working there. If IGA was quiet, that store was DEAD. I was talking to them for 30 mins, and may be 4-5 people came in, out of them only one guy bought some chocolates, and other just came to use ATM !! hah !! they make sale of $400. hah !! but had some fun with those girls. And suddenly Jenny droped in. I dont know whats wrong with that girl. she ignores me in front of other people !! i think she pretends like this, but dont know why? she came down to have some red wine and to smoke. but she desided to talk with david, and she kept ignoring me. But I know that she was pretending infront of others. and than she send me sms to thank me for nothing, like she wanted to start conversation. But these is what i think. i can never know whats in her, or any other women's heart !! And i dont want to waste my time after makig thesis on this. so wanna left all these behind, and will accept the fate as bonus.

More and more I'm forgetting the past
more and more I'm living at last
Day by day I'm losin' my blues
more and more I'm forgettin' about you
But oh how hard I'd tried to keep you by my side
And oh how I cried the day we said goodbye
Day by day I'm losin' my blues
more and more I'm forgettin' about you !!

well well well, this was not just like another day. I spent half of the day preparing my new website. and after that, according to plan..i went to watch SAW 3 with Ivan. it was nothing but copy from saw 1 & 2. Its just abt the theory of Jigsow, nothign new. It didnt scared me, but it was a bit creepy and gruesome. specially that brain surgery and sqeezing alive human, and the most...PIGS !! that stinks. and after that, me and Ivan went to his place. this was the first time i went to his place. I though my room is very messy, but today i realise that ivan is here to accompany me !! hah !! but i bet, my room is messier than his. He got nice Apple Macintosh !! its cooooooooool ! i would love to have one like that. and then, its pizza time. I went to an italian pizza house with Ivan and her beautiful wife, jessy !! It was a great dinner talk. An indian, a collumian and chinese were talking about their cultures and their point of views.!! and while walking down that dark streets, we were talking about our culture and another serious topic of jenny. we end up with a laugh as we decided that its a small matter and dont take it seriously and dont make a big issue out of it. and i should not be even talking about this here.

while coming back from thier place, i realised that every one has his own world in his mind. There is an illusion and there is a reality. and human nature is such that people like to enjoy illusions. Even i believe that i have a world in mind and i m the king of it. and i decide whats right and wahts wrong. I make my own choices. sometimes my behaviour is accepted in real world, and sometimes i get rejected. But who cares. i like to like by myself. I love myself. Osho says that expectation from other people is the root of sorrow. He makes this things clear of "raag" and "dhwesh" !! When we expect that other people will make us happy, that creats "raag" and when they faile to make us happy, it will create "dhwesh" !! His magical language and speech purifies my soul, and helps me to bring myself 'high'. He helps me to enjoy my company. And i believe if i dont enjoy my comany, ....who will else???

3 things u can never predict in melbourne......weather, work and women !!! its summer time here, but it was raining this morning....like its Cherapunji !! i was waiting for it to stop, as i had some plans for tonight !! fortunetly, god listened to me, and switched of that tap and rain stopped ! But before i impliment that plan into action, i had to visit Rasminbhai. its been a long time i went to their place. In melbourne, we students live very busy life. Job, study, uni, assignments....and public transport....all sucks. So its usual to visit friend's home once in blue moon !! same here, as i visited his place last semester. its been more than 100 days. So i went there and then.....i went to IGA to meet Ivan. He was suffering from a great pain, called Bonnie. He is ........oooooops.....she is boring, according to ivan. But i dont face so 'dengerous' situation with her. I think iVan is more wiered than bonnie. well, every person has different point of views. BUt Ivan was like.................sick while working with her. So i went there with PM. Than, me and ivan had some smoke, while i send a text to jenny to have smoke with us. but she took little time. and i had to go to a 'place', so i just left IGA !! me and pm went to ********************************************************************************* !!!

while i was coming back home....i dont know why and how....but at 12.15 am at midnight, i received a sms from Jenny. and we kept sending message to each other for 30 mins. wow, never happened before. It was gooood !! she has exams next week, so she is bit busy with that. and after that, i would like to go for a movie with her.!! but before that, me and ivan planning to watch SAW 3 2moro. the first 2 parts were awesome, so expectations are bit high. then lets check it out this third part.

nothing new about today, except PM gor drunk in the morning !! I dont what happened to him, but i think he liked that Jack Denial that we had last night. And he decided to pour some more into his heart this morning. and he was out of control. Oh man, he was rocking ! I had to go to see him at his college. then we went to go for some shopping, where i didnt buy anything ! i m running out of money these days....hah !! I was planning to visit annirudh for a long time. and I spared some time to have one of his dish, but it was not my luck. and he had to go to footscrey urgently. So i directly came back home. And once again, i enjoyed those beans and bread with kaushal. And we had some 'financial' talk as well. oh man, thats something i dont like to do much, but can't escape ! And after that, i was watching A Beautiful Mind when Megha dropped in ! and i can posepon my death to have chat with her !! so we had chat, and than i called up india. And I must say it was a big trouble. I think i m gonna face a terrible situation in near future. oh god, save me !! i dont want this to happen......i Dont know this wont happen, but still i m scared !! And i m not gonna reveal what trouble i m talking about. and now i m watching to A Beautiful Mind...........Dr john Nash........coool movie, but i think The Departed is better !!

i wrote these lines to megha.....

Jo kahi gayii naa mujse, woh zamaanaa keh rahaa hai
ke fasaanaa ban gayi hai, meri baat talte talte.....

shab-e-intazaar kabhi hogi muktasar bhi?...
Yeh chiraag buz rahe hai, mere saath jalte jalte....

yu hi koi mil gayaa tha, sare-raah chalte chalte...


these lines are from song 'chalte chalte', and its awesome !!

today, i feel a bit drunk !! not much, just a little. but before i got drunk, i mean we got drunk, we means me and pm, we went to watch 'the departed'....some of the best movie i ever watched !! nice movie with full of twists and turns !! it was real fun. i was feeling so sick and tired for last few days, so i wanted to get out of box and try something different. And movies is the best time pass for me. so we just planned it out. after that, i went to IGA, not to see ivan...but to get some drink !! so we had a little photo session with ivan. And me and pm decided to get some Jack Denial for tonight. of course, 2 cans were not enogh to get me drunk, but it was good enough to give me a kick. I think alchohol finds its place in heart, not in stomach. Bcaz when u drink it, all your "hidden thoughts" from heart come out and start flying. I love that situation. I love to lose controll ! its great...makes me feel light !! but before i get lost in those moments, we talked to bruce's girlfriend..i forgot her name, but shes very nice girl !!
well,than we started drinking at tram stop. alchohol was getting into my heart, and pulling out all those "hidden thoughts" out. sometimes its better to throw all those rubbish out of mind. Its like Clean up yr Hard disk drive !! you feel light and more active. but now, may be i will watch "beautiful mind" or go to bed !

it was a bad bad bad, very very very very...............once again...very bad day !! I was so sick, had cold and my nose was blocked ! and i was really feeling so tired and alone. sometimes i feel like i cant bare this loneliness. sometimes i just cant bare this pain. but it goes on !! may be, in india i will miss this loneliness. I was so down this night, but somehow when i was coming back from city, suddenly i started feeling gr8. like king of the world and animal of the jungle !! and i decided not to think much.....

well, nothing to write much. i went to flight centre to check the tickets for sydney and gold cost. but i m talkin to biren now, and i think it will be better if they book tickets from there !! it will be easy to manage!!

just came out from the movie theatre...my next room ! we were watching The Hills have eyes !! it was really F***ing creepy thriller with lots of blood and flesh around. It was one of the creepest movies i have seen!! but i love it and enjoy these movies. Sometimes it makes me laugh. hah !!


well, if i will write anythinng about today, it will make this reader very bored bcaz it was just like ystrday !! nothing new. I just got some dvds, thats all, which i m going to watch during the week. My parents have confirmed the dates and i m going to book my tickets 2moro morning ! its gonna be a cooool fun trip. but for that, i gotta collect some money !! so i m busy with job. And even when all other r doing job, what will i do at home? staring at celling? watching tv? internet? oh come on man, i m seek of these things. The new thing i started is mornig walk....ya ya ya, other people say its Afternooon walk, as i go for it at 12.20 pm, but 'jaagya trarthi savaar'...so for me, its early morning and time to have a walk !!

it was another day i kept waiting for jenny, but today, she didnt turn up ! so my inner mischievious geek wake up and i send her an sms that " i m standing at yr door, please open yr door" ...and she replied " what? what r u doing there? i m not home !! why r u there??"" and i was like......'oooops, i was just kidding !!' hah !! it was funny! and agian, poor me, that i had to countie with iVan, the new co-worker !! theres somehting special abot him. I dont feel so comfortable with him !! i dont why ! he is a nice guy, but i dont like nice guys !! hah !! may be thats why i like to work with Ivan. well, Ivan and iVan are different persons. Ivan is old friend, iVan is new nice guy ! and came back to jenny, she didnt came to just show up today. may be she's afraid of me !! but thats ok, everything will be fine soon !!

i was in a dilhema till this morning, and i went to morning walk with that. But that morning walk is really refreshing. I must tell u, that really makes me feel good for the rest of my day ! And i went to IGA, where i met Jessy and PM. I had some serious talk with jessy. and i told her that may be that girl next door afraids of me !! and she said, " yaa, i think so, shes afraid that u will leave melbourne one day". and thats 100% true. Melbourne is my destionation if the journey of life. So, i have to go back to india. So, i better let god decide what he can do for me, rather i pesruse him to do soemthing that i want !!

I was feeling so great this morning. This morninng, in the shower, with all dust on body, i washed away all those painful memories i had last night. I was feeling so freash !! than i went to IGA for another shift. But at IGA, this shift was really long...my eyes were waiting for jenny...and i cudnt resist and send her a text. For a while, i kept lookin at mobile screen. but there was no reply. It was busy time in store, so i put that device in my pocket and start serving customers. but my mind was waiting for that mobile to Buzz !! but even after 4 hours, she didnt reply. and than i tried to make up my mind with different reason. But somewhere around 10, she was right in front of me with her cute smile. she was standing right in front of me. just smiling. and than we both went outside. i think she is feeling so alone in melbourne, jsut like me. she said, " u know, melbourne is so boring place" and i just said yes. Even she's facing the same kinda situation ! this city is full of facilities, entertainment complexes, pubs, dance bars, stripties clubs...every kinda entertainment ! but still i noticed that people are so alone. and that was not only mine thinking, jenny was thinking the same way !! she was missing her friends and family. but i dont know whats her future planning ! I have make up my mind and going back to India soon. But i dont know, where this gonna end !?

Its cold outside,Every time doors open, it brings a breeze.......naah, its not breeze, it brings a Cold Strom inside the store. And its nothing different in store too. Its full of open freezes, omitting cold every day and night !! Sometimes i just forget thats its summer and try to hide under heavy jacket !! sometimes rain makes the situation worse. The road misses those traffic, a companion for the whole day, but in the night time....just dont want to be with the road. The rain wets the road, like road is crying, it feels so alone, needs a companion !!

when i take a look inside me, nothing is different there too !! I have been runnig on the streets of Melbourne, alone ! But in this race, i never find what i was looking for. And sometimes i just ask my self "what your looking for?", and i swear god, its difficult to find the answer ! But now, i m feeling so tired, wanna end up here, so alone !! Need a hand on my head. Need a warm hug. Its very cold and isolated in here......its all dead. I feel like a child left behind, a pet left in the rain. Its difficult to escape this lonelyness.

While i was thinking about this, a charming sound hits my ear...."hi". I was waiting for her for a long time. and she is there, right in front of me, across the table. She is very cute, with a lovely smile. And I feel my self as devil or demon. My like that girl, but my love is too small infront of my lust !! I can hardly feel comfortable with her. I know its my fault, but I didnt started that. She had some dvds in her hand. and i get lost in a flashback, go back to last night, when we were planning to go for a movie. And the next moment, i come back to IGA !! My mind start creating lots of pictures and images, i dont know about what !! I asked her to help me to pick me some movies from next door. But she said that she was getting late, and within 2-3 minutes, she says goodbye !! And again, my busy mind start working on making some illusions. And i start waiting for my mobile to buzz, holding in my hand, i was waiting for a message from her. But its 12 midnight now, and i m closing the shop, and my mobile is just dead like me.

while coming back home, i was looking at those streets, full of lights, tall buldings with sparkling lights, people hanging aroud with their friends, some couples with their companion, kissing and hugging, almost drunk, pretending and behaving like they are adam and eve in this world of 2006 !! And I was counting down the minutes at tram stop, waiting for that 48 no tram to pick me up. and here it comes, i m in there, next to window, leaning to the glass, watching all these superficial romance that will end tomorrow, or may be next week !! but i found myself alone in there, again, alone again !! I switched off iPod to feel the ocmplete loneliness !! oh !! sometimes i like that !! sadness is beautiful, but lonelyness is tragical. and a thoght goes trough my mind....its the matter of few months dear, than u will be bakc home, with friends and family !!you got a ticket to a world where you belong, this trip to melbourne will finish soon !! and u will escape this loneliness....and second moment a Q arises " is it the end, or it will a begining of a new journey?"

it was wondeful day. i was in full form and was ready for anything !! i went for a wake this morning at 11 am. I think its a bit late for a morning walk, but i cant help it. I like to sleep. And than a italian slod me some leather jakcets. Nice jackets. its a long story, i dont wanna write it here. And i bought one for a gift !

and then, as usual, facing those idiots at IGA !! what can i do !! i dont wanna get bored at home alone. so its better to spend a lot of time at IGA. at least i meet so many people, have fun with all coworkers and jenny too ! she had her exam today, and it was ok, not so bad !! but she was confused abt the results. not sure !! well, i tried to calm her down. And may be we will go for a movie this weekend !

one remarkable inccident happeed ystrday, when i was traveeling in bus no 200. A lady was behaving in such a wiered manner !! she was manica or lunatic, i dont know !! she was like barking like a dog, so loudly and in such a unexpected way !! everyone was so shocked and scared ! she was so wiered !! i dont know it was funny or scary !!? i think it was strange ! what kinda people live here !!

i went to change my ticket to india, but i had bad news that i cant do anything with that ticket. So i will have to fly on the same date. any wyas, it doesnt make much different.

the day started with a wonderful start, as i had some chat with megha and gopi. Its always fun to chat with these girls. I never get bored !! yaa, sometimes with Gopi, as she usually appear online to meet someone else. but Megha is always there ! ! So me and megha were talking abt some kinda confusion that i had abt a girl ( i m not gonna disclose here) ! and i think we decided to let the god decide !! we talked abt so many other things like Indian life, abt people who love it and who hate it too !! With megha, its always like a buddy with me. I tell u what, life is suckign and boring here. I wake up, do the morning chores, go to job, come back around 12 midnight, have dinner, check mails, and go to bed. menawhile, i listen to iPod in the bus. Its like only I exist on the whole world. And sometimes i feel like talking to someone. but i dont find anybody aroud. if u call a friend, he replys " i m on job, i will call u back". And sometimes i reply the same thing when my friends call me !! oh man !! this is shit life ! but somehow, after midnight, i feel very good when i chat with megha. I rememebr those winter nights, when me and megha had a big 'april fool' plan for my bithday. we used to chat for whole night. and at that time temp was as low as 0 degree, sometimes -2, -3 !! it was great. and we never run out of topics ! may be after my mom, darshana, biren and parin...she is the girl who knows me very well !!

I m missing khushi online these days. god knows wheres she !! may be busy with mansi. they are very close friends! so i think khushi, somehow really miss mansi a lot.

than i went to IGA....my fav place in melbourne !! And if i m working with Ivan, nothing can be better than that !! Jessy was there when i started !! Jessy is a cooooool girl. she has all those humor, sense of responsibility, self esteem, courage and so many other adjectives to add on. and Ivan, her husband...........i dont know why God made that mistke !! ha ha ha !! kiddin, kidding !! Hes a cooool guy and we have fun all the time. He makes me laugh and I make him laugh, and who laughs at the end???.........................customers !! remember the case of " hyrarchy" or "harryjacky" !! man, that David is such a ........chinese boy !! they dont know how to speak english..they speach "CHINGLISH" !!

and than, Jenny came down to have a cup of coffee ! she has exams 2moro, so shes busy with study. I wish her best luck and may she score her best !!

from IGA to home, in the bus, i like to listen to that OSHO !! he is great , simply great !! unbeliveble. I cant explain his whole theory here, but it can change your life !!

it was just another day in raw. the only difference was that i wake up at 8 am. Than i had to see the faces of John and robert, as it was a creepy day. the good thing was that Jessy was also there to give me company to face those baagaas. well, it was a bit tiring day as after a long time i had to do some labour job. Otherwise in the evening shifts we just have feast at IGA. But it was a damn terrible hot hot day. And guess what !! i put on my jacket this morning. so in the afternoon, while going back home, i was so hot that i almost got fever !! my head is still spinning now. Moreover, i watched a movie..."MEMENTO"....its a damn cool movie, but somehow, i was not in a good condition to enjoy it ! The story is out of this world, and the director must had made shit out of mind while editing the movie.!!

PM was working this evening with Ivan and he's gonna open tomorrow morning. I think he's gonna make shit out of his morning shifts. John asked me to that, but i cudnt help that. I m not the solution to this problem, so please forgive me !!

well, jenny has exam day aftr 2moro. so I think that cute lady must be fighting with those black latters in fat books. She's like preparing for a bettle. Exams, in itself, is a tourture, and must be removed from this system. Because I believe that students these days, tend to study to pass the exams and not to learn something. and when motive of study is changes and more emphsis is given on exams, i dont think it will be able to hold its value for a long time. The aim and sole purpose of study must be "learning" somehting, and not to let teachers judge how good you are !! Anyways, there will be a begining, and i m waiting for this system to be changed.

I like to listen to Osho. and i m listening to him all the time these days. well, sometimes he helps me to define the theories of my dreams and thoughts. he helps me to put my wired thoughts in a structure, so i can better understand them, and my self too !!

HAPPY NEW YEAR !! this is the first day of new year, not like India, i wake up at 1 pm. After a long time i had such a sweet night, and morning too. Actually i spent last night with Bruce Willis and Samual Jackson in Unbreakable. Cooool movie !! so i had someproblem waking up early in the afternoon. BUt somehow i managed to open eyes at 1 pm, and i called India. Its all celebration atmosphere in India. of Ocurse its a new year for hindus. for me, i think i celebrate every day, so its nothing new for me. but its new year and diwali really creats some magin in air. I talked to all people around. It was really fun to talk to them all on such a special occasion.

Than as usual, i had job at 4, so without having bath, i rushed to bus stop. and at IGA, John and Robert were waiting for me!! Ivan was taking Landmark Classed today....he's such a maniac, but after doing that Landmark course, he will be given a certificate, a proof that he is a maniac. !! It was really boring to work with that new iVan, Ivan's friends iVan. BUt some how i cud manage that. and than i spent some time with jenny too, as she came down, jsut to pass some time. She was desperate and nervous bcaz she will soon face her exams on Thurseday. so she was seeking some advise. and i delivered some to her !! NOthing much was happening at IGA tonight. Well, those fashion and star magazines were busy with paparazi and soililing others life. But sometimes its fun to have a look at them. All Paris Hilton, Briteny, Micheal jackson, Lindsla Lohan and all other Future Porn Stars show off on glossy paper of those magazines.

one more thing abt iVAn, not Ivan..... are yaar, he is a gay. I dont mind it. but i didnt knew that he was a gay, and his some wired behaviour making me feel uncomfortable with him. When i asked him whats yr partner's doing? is SHE studying or working?? and he replied " HE is doing cookery". oh man, that was really shocking. And than i asked Ivan abt this, and he said " oh man, i forgot to tell u that he is a gay". It was so wiered that i can not describe !

well, its too late, and i have to wake up a bit earluy 2moro, so i gotta go to sleep now !!

HAPPY DIWAALI !! its diwali today. and I m far away from my home ! Missing all those indian atmosphere around !! those friends and family...nothing can make u feel like that. i believe that you doint know what you have got untill u say goodbye. but its not a long time fly back to india, so i wud like to enojy every minute in australia. well, i wake up this morning and went to jon, nothing much to do. before leaving for job, i had some hcat with khushi and megha. its all good to chat with them. I was so upset last night and this morning, but those some moments with megha and khushi lighen the mood and atmosphere. after that, i went out with my buddy, my iPod. Malhar called me this morning and wish me happy diwali. Job was really boring. i was with New Ivan, that Ivan's friend, Ivan, so we all call him iVan, like iPod. it makes it easy. David was there too. but its really boring to spend time with them at IGA. SO i went out at 10.30 with some material for party tonight. we are waiting for Montu to come home so we will have some good time !! so we will meet again....bye bye...

well well well, its just another day. but this one started a bit earlier. A bit??? no no no....actually i wake up at 5 am, and i hate it, to open the shop. this morning shift is killing me. Thank god i dont have to do that anymore. there was nothing to do much in the morning, but coming out of bed in 12 degree temp. is just not good thing to do. BUt cant help it. I discovered that PM has too many fans taht he can start a fan club of his own. every cusotmer was asking for that boy. everybody lvoes him, except that bread deliverer who really hates him. so, i finished the job at 10 and got some $$$ pay and deposited it ! than its time to go for shopping on Smith St. where u can find all brands Nike, adidas, Converse, Rbk and many others. but i went to adidas and bought a pair of shoes and a track from Nike.

now its time to go home, and talk to yr hand for the rest of yr day. its all bullshit. i was so alone there, all i day was online and keep scraping to all on orkut. so i had some Beans, as usual, and went to bed at 4. Jiju had some plan to go out for dinner. so we went to a Gaylord indian restaurant. It was nice, specially the lady who was serving us. hah !! than it comes to worst part....after finishing my dinner, i went to IGA, i dont know why......i swear i really dont know why the hell i went there. I wanted to have some beer, so i though its better to hang around rather than going back home. But.......its all messed up !! forget, i m not gonna explain it here.

ok than, its all Diwali time now, so wish u all Happy Diwali and Happy New Year !!

it was just another normal day. mansi left melbourne (small hell on earth) this morning !! lucky she...will enjoy diwali and new year !! its DhanTeras today, and i m missing those nights full of lights in india. its a magic and nothing else that Diwali creats. Yaa, people love to celebrate 31st dec more than diwali...still Diwali has its own beauty !!

the new thing was that i went IGA, not for job, but to get some money....as i m facing terrible money crisis these days. So i went there to see John and Robert...and i was lucky that i met Jessy and tanya too. I dont like tanya...i dont know why, she is a nice women, but i dont feel comfortable with her. But jessy, mrs Tinoko, is a lovely lady. She thinks that I m serious abt that chinese girl.......... Well, M I serious ? ? .......... I dont know.
and after that, i went to watch CRANK, starring 'shit' Jesson. Nice actor he is ! i love the way he says 'shit' !! I was with PM !! it was all fun to hang around and watch movie. than again 200 no bus to go back home and ......what say !!

2moro, i m going to open IGA, so i gotta go to bed soon, so i can re memorise those 'winter magic mornings' again !!

i spent the whole day with mansi for shopping !! eventually.........or unfortunetly......we both ran out of money !! that was cooooool scene. we were on shopping trip with only $14 in account. and she was planning to spend some $300. It was all for her family ! I bought some chocolates for my sis, and some cds for khushi and megha !! and tell u what, i really cudnt find anything for gopi. I mean....i searched a lot, for whole day, but i cudnt find anything, so special for her !! but i m sorry for that, and i think 2moro i will find something for her for sure.

there was a game being played by all people around me, called SURPRISE !! i dont know who will win and who will lose. hah !! its a surprise !!

nothing much to write for today, just missing some people. . . . but who cares...life goes on !!

today, i reveiled some secret questions to her !! i know it was hard for her to understand her, but she is smart enogh to get the point, and she did too !! before this, this questions were somewhere down under my hearts, and no one knew that !! but as she is the most trust worthy friend, i just wanted to share this with her. Actually she is like my blog !! there is hardly any secreat that she doesn't know !! sounds like we r good lovers.......and we r indeed, but not like those typical love birds. She is one of the most beautiful companion i have in this journey of life. otherwise, so many friends came and gone, like leaves leave the tree in autum !! But she is like one of those branch of this tree.

last night, i was at IGA, not waiting for the other girl and was busy with IGA customers and Bonnie and another chinese girl ! IGA is a coooool place to work at (bcaz of all those freezers). But i found some new friends there, and Ivan is not one of them !! i dont have words to desribe that F***ing idiot, he is so hillarious, funny and artistic! He is a guy from colombia who looks like a muslim. I learned a lot from this guy. Well, i belive we always learn something fror each person we meet in life. some teache us what to do, and other teache what not to do. I dont know where to put Ivan !! he is such a buddy ! ( and Jessy too) !! Jessy, plz help me out ( u know for what, Ivan) !!